Salutations! Call me Carl. Most everyone does. And don't let that “employee” card on the right there fool you; the arrangement I have with Faceless Co. is a fine and friendly partnership, one that mutually benefits both them and SPIDR, whom I have the pleasure of representing here.
That clear? Good. As for me and what I do… Well, my goal has always been to bring a little jolt of fun back into the world. And what does that better than the silly spooks and immersive terrors a laff-in-the-dark has! SPIDR understands how important it is to keep dark ride traditions alive: our goal has always been one of artistry and longevity over cheap thrills. They don't always have to be scary, though I personally have a fondness for an old-fashioned haunted house.
Our united efforts to protect and preserve this dying art form have made us ideal partners with Faceless. With our combined efforts, company-owned parks will have snazzy restoration on their spookhouses, or brand new attractions that boast the most cutting-edge effects, scenery and storytelling that SPIDR has cultivated from 50 years of amusement industry experience.
Sure, you can argue that kids these days only care about their big, fancy roller coasters and don't appreciate the quality, love and craftsmanship that goes into the average dark ride; they don't carry in their souls the joys that come with the smell of oil and wood, the jolt of a car moving through crash doors, the sudden blare of a startling siren as they leave daylight behind… But by the time we're done with 'em, they will!