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employees:harold_jefferson

Employee Summary
Name: Harold Jefferson
Area: Marketing
Date of Birth: 4/5/1986

Status: Active

Harold Jefferson

Head of Viral marketing to the otherwise located and the specially created

Always found with a smile on his face.

History within the company

Harry Jefferson, banned in 49 states and wanted for 10 thousand dollars in the state of Utah, Came to us 8 Months ago trying to sell an employee a portable enema in the form of an uncomfortably long urinating squirrel,he undertook special behavioural classes within the company at the behest of a distraught employee.

Indoctrinated into our noble family 2 months later he displayed a remarkable aptitude for selling items having managed to sell an interns underwear back to them without their understanding of the situation. Continually gained results though his methods were found unorthodox at times.

Promoted to Head of Viral marketing after 5 months as the previous holder of the placement died of what can only be described as “Severe bladder infection” He became the creator of dimensional door to door sales and is the current overseer of Project Leprecoloni. Jefferson proves to be a man worthy of outside universe marketing. He continues to gain precious materials and salvage from universal expeditions and stabilization of in world delicate matters.

Jefferson Advertisement Extract 1: *Language to be determined upon discovery of universe*

Hey there members of Universe ___! Now don't you worry about the gaping hole in the sky when you can fix that with a handy dimensional hole sealant! Courtesy of Faceless Incorporated! Try it now for free! Fix your univesrse in a jiffy and if You enjoyed that then get a load of our latest thermal powered jetski! Now I know what you're thinking “Thermal powered?” But in our universe we have a different meaning for that word! So while we seal up this hole for you buy a quality jetski from yours truly and remember that we're saving your universe!

Self Assessment excerpt

H.J: Every man has his price. Anyone who says they don't is either lying or ready to die. I mean a man who has everything has to have made peace with himself. But I'm not bothered about them. I don't want anybody to die, I'm a nice guy like that. So really the way I see it is if someone doesn't want to buy something from me then they've given up on their hopes and dreams. And I won't allow that. I will make depressed Debbie open up and bring joy back into her life and then I will sell her some sandals. Because that is the type of man I am. When I sell you something I'm not just selling you some material object. I'm giving you something to push you forward in life and keep on going. And in that respect I've always considered myself a sort of saviour in a way and the customers money? Well that goes to us doesn't it and in the long run that's where it belongs after all. With the people who truly need it. I make transactions work for the betterment of everybody even if they don't know it.

employees/harold_jefferson.txt · Last modified: 2015/08/22 00:30 by slimebeast