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Welcome to our family!

Good morning! My name is Miles Banyon, and I've been brought on board as your synergistic management consultant, which I suppose is just a fancy way of saying I'll be assisting associates with incorporating standard company values and practices regarding content.

That said, here are a few brief comments from the Executive Level which I have been asked to reaffirm.

  1. Please respect corporate secrecy. I know some have said that our site is fully accessible to the public, but I've been assured by IT that this is not the case. I'm no expert, but I'm inclined to trust that they know what they're doing.
  2. All employees should refrain from needlessly “redacting” or “expunging” important data. Leave that to the weirdos at the ███ ██████████.
  3. While we encourage the use of low-level staff and understand researchers may not always know the next proper course of action when dealing with an unknown, we heavily discourage use of the phrase; “Feed it an intern”.
  4. As above, any unfortunate incidents regarding interns should not be referred to as “We need another Timmy”.
  5. Please do not misuse our janitorial staff. They are not employed nor are they trained for the removal of highly hazardous, infectious, or radioactive materials. Additionally, you should not depend on them to kill anything.
  6. Theft of office supplies is at an all-time high. Please remember to report any suspicious behavior.
  7. We will no longer be allowing paid time off for undefined psychological trauma. Unfortunately, it's too easy to fake these conditions, especially in a work environment such as ours.
  8. Attempts to Unionize at any level are greatly discouraged. The Faceless Corporation already has your best interests in mind, rendering such efforts pointless.
  9. It is requested that researchers and developers cease adding guns to things that could potentially misuse guns.
  10. Displaying tolerance toward fellow employees is a priority. This includes Dr. Malignus.

Please check back often as this posting may be amended without notice.

What is this? is the website of the Faceless Corporation, which is best described as “The SCP Foundation meets The Umbrella Corporation meets Dunder Mifflin”. The concept is Faceless is the major company that owns basically everything… or at least most of it. They create eldritch horrors and market them to housewives to “remove stains”. They lose staff members to flesh-eating crickets and then bicker about who didn't fill the coffee pot after using it. They push things to market even though they might end reality as we know it, but they'll mark it with “do not use to end world”. (Otherwise, they'd be open to a lawsuit!)

Think of it this way: The Faceless Corporation knows everything… but no one is reading the memos.

This website is a sort of “Group Fiction” experiment, much like the aforementioned SCP Foundation. Multiple people are writing the content here, under a variety of different “characters”. For example, technophopic hard-ass Wertram Stricks is a character created by the same person writing for self-obsessed nitwit Andy Gilbert. This is a place where multiple authors are writing a canon as they go, by the seat of their pants, through a variety of characters.

Right now we are closed to public contributions as we sort out the site. However, you can join the forum here and discuss ideas, work out concepts, etc.

General Guidelines

Keep in mind these general guidelines:

  • Sometimes less is more. Try to go for the creepy and/or funny in subtle ways.
  • Don't change someone else's work without their permission.
  • Don't derail or troll someone else's page/thread/idea, like saying “You're fired!” or “I killed your subject.”
  • Keep it Corporate! Pretend you're actually posting to your legitimate employer. IE: No “Fuck you”s.
  • This isn't the SCP Wiki. Though it's an inspiration, there's no need to redact, be overly technical, etc.
  • Above all else, just be respectful of other creators, especially if you're joining their work, with their permission. Characters can HATE each other, but respect the *creator* behind it and their vision/writing.

Faceless employees want everything to be okay. When faced with the decision of looking into something horrible, or assuming it's fine, they'll want to choose the latter. It's human nature. Similarly, this type of “rose colored glasses” behavior allows them to turn awful things into positives. Someone was thrown across the room and shattered their pelvis? Enjoy the paid vacation, you lucky dog!

Not everyone is evil, in fact few are. Faceless is all about ignorance and bad decisions. Evil is our byproduct. Anyone who goes missing in ways that can't be explained to the public will be said to have wandered away during a team-building trip. Interns are our “D-Class”. They haven't done anything to deserve what happens to them, they're just plentiful and disposable. They don't even need names.

Above all, REMEMBER THAT THE ENTIRE PREMISE IS THAT THE COMPANY DOESN'T KNOW THE PUBLIC CAN SEE ALL THIS INFORMATION. As far as anyone knows, the Customer areas are the only ones visible to non-employees.

Act accordingly. Nothing supernatural or evil should be said in the customer areas, though it can be subtly hinted at. Similarly, no customers in the employee areas, etc.

Remember this company would theoretically be accountable if ANYONE working for it admitted something horrible to the public.


Coming Soon

Don't worry about the details enough to let it stop you. We do not require all submitted material to be identical in language, emotion, etc. Part of the idea is that this is a somewhat poorly run company where few people are told what they're supposed to be doing. Feel free to let your character's choice of words, etc., shine. (As long as it's not unrealistically offensive, etc. Characters shouldn't act in ways that would obviously get you fired with no recourse.)

Profile Card

This is required on all employee profiles, above anything else in the code:

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    Employee Summary
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{{ :employees:IMAGENAME.png}}
<b>Name:</b> FIRST & LAST NAME<br>
<b>Area:</b> </html>[[/DEPARTMENT]]<html><br>
<b>Date of Birth:</b> MM/DD/YYYY<br><br>
<b>Clearance:</b> RANDOM CHARACTERS<br>
<b>Status:</b> ACTIVE, TERMINATED, ETC.<br>

Visitor Comments

Only use the header once.


===Visitor Comments===

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  <div class="commentuser">
&bull; </html>
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{{  :employees:CHARACTERNAME.png?60px}}
info.txt · Last modified: 2016/03/08 23:20 by slimebeast