Item: Bitchslap: The Board Game
Designation: Product (Recalled)
Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk
Number in Storage: 5,820
Standard board game consisting of play board, dice, game pieces, and various printed cards. Box displays title of game as well as a cartoon image of a woman slapping her husband across the face. She is smiling, while he appears to be covered in bruises.
Game play appears to rely on moving one's game piece (a beer can, wine bottle, stein, and martini glass) around the board while being careful not to land on the squares marked “BITCHSLAP!” If a player lands on said square, all others in the game receive the opportunity to trade spaces with or physically strike the unfortunate player in a manner befitting the title.
Quitting the game results in the offending player being labelled “The Bitch”.
Reason for storage:
Due to problems with board design, it is actually impossible to reach the end of the game and players are mathematically guaranteed to land on a “BITCHSLAP!” square within every three turns. Furthermore, box does not carry a disclaimer warning against playing the game with children.
Several domestic violence cases reported concerning families and couples playing the game. Class-action lawsuit successfully settled out of court.
Featured on Slarg.com's “Top 10 Board Games Too Stupid To Exist! (But They Do!)”
Final Order: Temporary Storage.
Further Notes: Something new to keep the boys out of.