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storage:cancer_cola

Item: “Pooka Punch” Tropical Flavored Soda

Designation: Product (Recalled)

Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk

Number in Storage: Several Thousand Cases (Tally Pending)

Description:

Pooka Punch is packaged in a red can decorated with a cartoon “hula dancer” (named Pookalele) and the Pooka Punch logo. Cases containing different amounts of cans display same decoration. Cans contain a red liquid of generally “tropical” flavor which cannot be accurately described as resembling any combination of natural fruits. Produced by Poppo soda.

Associated with popular commercial campaign where adorable Pookalele entices men with promise of Pooka Punch, only to impishly lead them into an active volcano.

Reason for storage: Pooka Punch appears to cause rapid death of cancer cells in human hosts if an “excessive amount” of the soda is consumed. Additional side-affects may be present, requiring more in-depth product testing.

Final Order: On Hold. (Pending further study)

Further Notes: There are rumors that it's just going to be shuffled to Lazarix, renamed “Tropixa”, and sold at several thousand times the price, but I hope that's not the case. I'm sure lots of people love the Pooka Punch commercials, and would hate to see the product discontinued.

storage/cancer_cola.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/31 08:33 by slimebeast