Item: The Gray Globe
Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk
Number in Storage: 1
Large, gray scale globe depicting the planet Earth, with each nation marked accordingly. Retrieved from the office of former overseas coordinator Grant Finemelon upon his retirement and subsequent passing from age-related issues.
Placing one's finger on an area of the globe causes subject to begin speaking fluently in the dominant language associated with that location. After contact with the globe, subject experiences a period of “muteness” lasting from ten minutes to five hours depending on duration of contact.
This apparently accounts for Mr. Finemelon's much-lauded polyglot-ism, which only surfaced during phone communications.
Reason for storage:
Globe will glow during use, at which point all within its light lose language skills in total for a period of time yet to be determined. May be permanent.
Additionally, far outdated in terms of defunct dialects, lack of terms for modern advances, and obscure turns of phrase.
Final Order: On Hold.
Further Notes: Rest in peace, Mr. Finemelon.