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Item: The Gray Globe

Designation: Acquisition

Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk

Number in Storage: 1


Large, gray scale globe depicting the planet Earth, with each nation marked accordingly. Retrieved from the office of former overseas coordinator Grant Finemelon upon his retirement and subsequent passing from age-related issues.

Placing one's finger on an area of the globe causes subject to begin speaking fluently in the dominant language associated with that location. After contact with the globe, subject experiences a period of “muteness” lasting from ten minutes to five hours depending on duration of contact.

This apparently accounts for Mr. Finemelon's much-lauded polyglot-ism, which only surfaced during phone communications.

Reason for storage:

Globe will glow during use, at which point all within its light lose language skills in total for a period of time yet to be determined. May be permanent.

Additionally, far outdated in terms of defunct dialects, lack of terms for modern advances, and obscure turns of phrase.

Final Order: On Hold.

Further Notes: Rest in peace, Mr. Finemelon.

Visitor Comments

Grant was a good man. If someone can locate that obnoxious grizzly bear paperweight of his, I have a place for it on a shelf in my office.

I found the grizzly bear, but I don't remember it having a severed toe in its mouth. Do you still want it, or should we put it in storage as well?

Are we talking an actual fresh human toe?

No, It appears to be mummified, but we can't get an exact age on it.

You can hang onto it. We weren't that close.

storage/language-altering_globe.txt · Last modified: 2017/01/01 23:45 by slimebeast