Item: The Master Mop
Designation: Prototype (Terminated)
Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk
Number in Storage: 1
Average-looking mop with synthetic wood Supra-Spruce handle and indestructible, mega-absorbent LikeWool head. Within mop head is a water-proofed, computerized “A.I. Node Cluster”, capable of assisting cleaning process through micro-movements and detecting when it has reached dirt capacity. Several other features intended, but not tested.
Reason for storage:
Workplace accidents in the vicinity of the Master Mop far exceeded acceptable numbers. Falls due to tripping over mop handle or slipping on wet sections of floor became too common to be considered coincidence. Seclusion of Master Mop in a locked janitor's closet resulted in a severe drop in injuries, until an intern noted that the item “slid under the door like an octopus”. This report was treated as a wild fabrication until excessive injuries resumed and item was eventually found “hiding” in a discarded mailing tube.
Further experimentation showed the Master Mop appeared capable of creating pictographical symbols using soap suds and/or heavy grime. Most of these symbols appeared to be “skull-like” in appearance. When asked direct questions, the Master Mop's symbols seem to denote high intelligence levels, possibly rivaling the Faceless Corporation's most well-known thinkers. The Master Mop has been placed in Permanent Closed Storage until a time when Faceless Co. staff can determine a way to effectively correct its behavior or bargain with it in order to make use of its intellect.
May also be responsible for mixing bleach with ammonia on three separate occasions.
Final Order: Permanent Closed Storage.
Further Notes: We put a bucket in with it. Stacy changes the water every few days.