Item: Succubox, The
Designation: Prototype (Terminated)
Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk
Number in Storage: 28
A 4“ x 4” purple plastic box marked with red “kissing lips” icon on its front. Small speaker located at center of lips. Top of item is marked with the word “Succubox” written in looping cursive font. When shaken, item emits a moaning sound, followed by one of four pre-recorded clips.
After this action has been taken, the item speaks to the user, offering various lewd and otherwise inappropriate services in return for “letting me out of this box”.
Reason for storage:
Item deemed “not in keeping with the Faceless Corporation's public image” and likely inappropriate even for the “gag gift” market. Furthermore, lewd services offered were considered disturbingly “on the nose” when tested by focus groups. Several test subjects refused to proceed after the initial offer due to embarrassment, forgoing the payment they were promised.
Test subjects who attempted to open the item despite warnings suffered broken and removed fingernails as well as bleeding of the fingers. Item purposefully designed to never be opened.
Final Order: Permanent Closed Storage.
Further Notes: We can hear them every time their crate is bumped or jostled, and their messages have become detrimental to inter-employee relations. What is the battery life on these things? Also, we can't find the battery case.