Item: Talking Dogs
Designation: Test Subjects (Canine)
Storage Contact: Oscar Blonk
Number in Storage: 5
Canine subjects of various breed and color. Exposed to rigorous training, breeding, and slight genetic modification in an attept to create a speaking animal for Tum-Nums pet food commercials and live promotional appearances. Adjustments to vocal cords and certain sections of the brain accomplished through the aforementioned tactics.
Subjects were trained to repeat a small list of phrases deemed both commercially useful and simple enough for an animal to reproduce on command. Phrases included: “I love you”, “Tum-Nums, yum”, and “Pet food aisle”.
Reason for storage:
Trained dialogue became corrupted over the course of testing and could not be returned to its original state through any means attempted. Subjects eventually turned “I love you” to “A live yee” and eventually “I alive why”. Similarly, “Tum-Nums, yum” degraded into what could be considered “Too much think”.
Final Order: Temporary Storage
Further Notes: They bark at night but it sounds like screaming.